Sunday, March 2, 2014

Zach Walker, Vampire Hunter

- Vampires exist as fantasy only, and no such thing has ever walked the earth

- Zack's vampirism is a result of a mutation brought on by his mother's extensive drug usage while he was still developing

     - The humans that Zack infects are known as Vampites

- Zack's heart and nervous system are designed as such that he doesn't need to breathe or eat, and blood-sucking is only a measure needed in events of great injury

- Vampirism is contracted by sexual intercourse with a carrier

- Sunlight makes a vampite weak, and kills one if more than 50% of their skin is exposed to the sun for more than 30 minutes. They can walk out in the sun for an indefinite amount of time if ALL of their skin is covered, but they are still weakened from the UV rays coming through their clothing

- Vampites are not "undead" humans. Vampites are a mutation of the human genome, and as such can still be impregnated by humans, as well as impregnate humans. The baby in either situation has a 1 in 500^3 chance of survival

- Silver is not deadly to a vampite, but does cause considerable amounts of pain. Vampites are known to use silver-tipped needles to tattoo themselves, since the silver burns through their skin and allows the ink to take without being rejected

Monday, February 10, 2014

Cartman is a Jew

"Is he really that ignorant?"

"Yes, he really is. He doesn't know anything, and makes no effort to learn anything. His head is so far up his fat ass, it popped out on top of his neck where it started!"

"That kind of ignorance is nearly handicap status worthy!"

- Kyle's mother runs a geneology program through her family tree, and finds out that they are distant relatives of Jesus Christ. Eric's mother uses the same program and also finds that she and Eric are distant relatives of Jesus Christ. This means that Kyle and Eric are related...
- ... and Eric is Jewish.

-OR-

- Kyle's family is related to Jesus, while Eric's family is related to Judas...
- ... which makes Eric Jewish anyway.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

The Never Never Theres

"It almost seems like you could live forever there."

"That's the point. Time stops in Never Never Land."

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

The Curse (WIP)

They called it the Curse of the Eva, but the people knew better. It wasn't the Eva that presented the Curse, it was the LCL.

LCL was a liquefied oxygen meant to fill your lungs and oxygenate your blood from within. When the Angel Wars ended, the Evangelion program was disbanded, and the corporation WILLE decided to dispose of the LCL without any further research into its use.

But that's where things started getting complicated.

The first attack came three years after the disbandment. Hordes of people swarmed WILLE's base of operations, chanting words in a strange language, and calling for LCL. Word soon spread that the attackers were biting people, drinking their blood. The satisfied ones would leave the base, lips stained crimson, while the others continued their attack with rudimentary weapons crafted from whatever they could find.

The pilots of the Evangelion, though, were not included amongst the hordes of people. The thought of using the decommissioned Evas to help disperse the attack came from Dr. Akagi, but it was quickly shot down. Instead, WILLE's security force, armed with gas grenades and rubber bullets, were tasked with the clearing.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Snippets 2

- A zombie apocalypse starts in small, rural Amish communities, and it's up to a small group of townies to keep them from taking over

- The aftermath of a nuclear war gives birth to the worst nightmares of our past, as mythical creatures become frightening reality

- We are not alone. We are being watched, and they do not like what they have seen

- They scream. Not unintelligible; just always two words. "Kill me." It's not a demand or a request... it's a taunt.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

SS250 Story Contest Entry Idea

I'm going to write a non consensual rape scene. It is going to be part of a fantasy that Princess Sally is writing in her private blog. It will involve Bunnie, Knuckles, Rouge, and some unnamed inhabitants.

Mind control through Anarchy Beryl
Involve Dr. Robotnik in some way
- Any machine of his could invoke Murphey's Law

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

For... (Original WIP - Colloboration)

Mark Smith rose from his bed at precisely 6:02am every morning, and this morning was no different. He sat on the edge of his mattress yawning and stretching, then slowly slipped on his slippers and shuffled out of his diminutive bedroom into the chilly hallways of his apartment. He only owned a single heater and hadn't the money or the credit to turn the gas on in his house, so the walk from the bedroom to the kitchen did far more to wake him up than any cup of coffee or rousing bout of morning wood sex ever did.

His Siamese cat, Guilty Spark, sat on the counter next to the stove, his tail waving back and forth as he acknowledged his owner with a verbal greeting. Mark, in turn, touched his forehead to that of his cat's as he did every morning, and gently meowed back. It was familiar and goofy and personal and it seemed to match perfectly for both owner and pet. Mark poured some milk for his cat and refilled his dry food, then set about making breakfast for himself.

Cheerios with brown sugar and banana slices soon felt themselves drowning in milk, but before he could take his first bite, Mark heard a knock at his door. He set his bowl down and passed from his kitchen through his living room, grabbing hold of the front door's knob and pulling it open. He expected to see someone standing there waiting, but saw nobody. He looked down and spotted a small package sitting on his front stoop, a tag hanging on by a scrap of tape and threatening to blow away, though the air spoke nothing of wind in that moment.

Looking about for a delivery boy, Mark found nobody. He stooped down to pick up the package, noticing that it was much heavier than it would have made you believe; it took the entirety of his strength to lift it from his stoop into his house. He managed to set it on one of his floor rugs, and proceeded to drag the rug through the house to his bedroom rather than try to lift the package and carry it. Upon arrival, Mark sat on his bed to take a rest.

The box looked like nothing out of the ordinary. It was a solid brown color with no identifying marks of any kind, and was about the size of a Kleenex box. Taped on one of its sides was a tag with a label that read, 'For...' and no receiver. Mark figured it was an accidental delivery, and judging by the weight, figured it was a small box of lead.

"Who would order a box of lead?" he asked himself as he made to open the box, but before he could grasp the sides, his phone rang. He stopped, stood up, and pulled out his cell phone, reading the number and swearing on the inside. It was his ex-wife.

"You should have been here fifteen minutes ago! Where are you? Fooling around with some no-good hussy, I bet. Get your ass over here and PICK UP YOUR CHILD!" As suddenly as it started, the call ended. Mark looked at his clock on the wall and read the time - 6:20am.

"Stupid bitch probably forgot to set her clock back last night." Mark shrugged off the blistering phone call and proceeded to dressed and ready to leave to pick up his daughter from her visit with her mother. The box on the floor lay forgotten as Mark picked up his pocket-stuffings and left the house.